I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
