why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
