actually, I'm a sock model
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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