im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
