The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
