Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
