What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
