she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
