I haven't been this sober since birth.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
