I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
