you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Boobs are out for the taking
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
