just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
