better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
