I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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