I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
