If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
