What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
