The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
