I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
