he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
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She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
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You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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