"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
