You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
