I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
babies were throwing up all over the place
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
This house was built for laser tag.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
