i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
