I could have mohawked her pubes.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
