I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
