the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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