Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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