shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
