She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
