I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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