the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
