so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
