Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Randomize
