why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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