he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
