theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
