I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
