I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
