Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think people are normalizing furries
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
