Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
