i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
