i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
