if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
True strength comes from lack of pants
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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