So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
