I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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