can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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