I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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