You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What drink are we having for lunch?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize