I'm drive I can fine osifer
honey bunches of taint.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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