he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize