i don't like sucking hair
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Randomize
