I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
