I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
