I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
