his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
