I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
