dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
