this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
