Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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