it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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